Cold without you
by Black-servant
Summary: After the ceremonial duel Yugi misses Yami terribly and griefs that Yami left without even saying goodbye and Yugi didn't have a change to tell him about his feelings. But there's a reason why Yami left so quickly. What happens when Yugi finds out and what happens when you know that you really can't leave without your soul's other half. Rating will go up with later chapters.
1. Cold without you

Hi! The song I use in this chapter is a finnich song called "Kylmä ilman sua" and in english "Cold without you". I've tried to translate the song in english with my best abilities so you can understand its lyrics. And to honour the song and my home country I've written the song here in finnish too. And who knows perhaps one of my readers is also from Finland. : )

I have to confess that I haven't ever read the whole yu-gi-oh manga or seen the anime. So my stories are based on them only slightly and I'm sorry if I accidentally use both japanese and english names on the characters. I hope you can forgive me.

* * *

**Mulla on niin kamalan kylmä ilman sua**

**Niin kylmä ettei sillä ole määrää**

**Ja mulla on niin kamalan kylmä ilman sua  
**

**Teinkö jotain väärää**

**Mulla on niin kylmä ilman sua**

**It's so horribly cold without you**

**So cold you can hardly understand that**

**And I'm so cold without you**

**Did I do something wrong**

**It's so cold without you**

Tears didn't stop, not after what Yugi had just heard. He couldn't believe it and he cursed himself. If he just hadn't cried so much, then maybe he would have heard what the others were talking about after the ceremonial duel which he had won but with which still had a sad ending: He had won and Yami, his darkness had passed away to the afterlife.

Yugi's whole body was shaking terribly, his eyes were bloodshot and his clothes were full of wrinkles and dirt, he hadn't changed them in three days, not after the duel. He was curled up in his bed and blanket pulled over his whole being. He didn't want to see his room and everything there that would remind him of the pharaoh, still Yami was all he could think about. He felt so cold and alone without Yami there with him, to comfort him and to make him laugh and smile again.

Even if Yugi was sad there was another emotion that had just raised its head in him: anger. He was angry to his friends and especially Anzu. Yugi had been so caught up in his own sadness and misery after the ceremonial duel that he hadn't heard what Anzu had said to Yami, his darkness and without that maybe, just maybe Yami could still be here with Yugi. But what did happen after the ceremonial duel, let's jump backwards a little bit and we'll let Joey to explain.

_About half an hour earlier _

_Joey knocked on the door of Kame game shop and Solomon Mutou, Yugi's grandfather opened the door for him to enter. He looked sad but welcomed Joey warmly:_

- _Hello, my boy! How are you?_

- _I'm fine, thanks! How's Yugi I just came to see how he's doing. _

_At that the older Mutou let a deep sigh escape from his lips before answering:_

- _Not, so good. He hasn't left his room in three days and he's eating very little. I'm worried but I don't know how to help. He doesn't talk to me he's just sitting in his room staring at the wall or lying on his bed under a cover, crying. _

_Joye's face showed clear pain for his friend and he muttered quietly more to himself:_

- _Man, he misses the pharaoh so much…_

_Solomon just nodded his head in a silent agreement. Joey raised his head with determination. Anzu had all of them to not even mention Yami or what happened after the duel but Joey decided that Yugi deserved to know maybe this would ease his pain even a little. Joey would let Yugi know that Yami didn't want to go but just thought he had to after all Joey knew that Yugi loved his other half he had told it to him a while before the duel and he had told Joey that if Yami had to pass he would tell Yami how he felt, but as Joey knew Anzu had never given him the change to do that and the feelings were still unsaid without a possibility to confess them anymore. So Joey asked:_

- _Could I see Yugi. There's something I must tell him. It might chear him up a little bit. _

_Solomon hesitated first. Yugi had told him he didn't want to meet anyone but if Joey really could help…_

- _Sure. He's in his room. _

_Joey rushed to upstairs where he stopped to knock on Yugi's door but he never reseived an answer so he let himself in. _

_ Yugi was lying under the blanket. Joey could easily hear the heartbreaking sobs and soft whimpers coming from the small figure and his heart ached terribly for his friend. He hadn't really been that good of a friend but he would fix what he could. So Joey walked to the bed and sat carefully on edge of the bed and shook his friend's shoulder gently and whispered:_

- _Hey Yug' I have something I wish to tell you. It's… It's about Yami._

_There was a long silence. Yugi's sobs had died down and ever so slowly he pulled the blanket of his head so he could see his friend. Joey couldn't help the grimace at seeing his friend so broken: eyes were red and he had black eye bags, he's whole being was filthy and covered in endless tears. Yugi's eyes were so dim when he looked Joey, he didn't say anything just waited Joey to start. Joey's played a moment with his hands nervously until he started:_

- _Yug' you remember after the duel you collapsed on your knees and started to cry and then Yami just left. You…You were so hurt that Yami didn't even say goodbye or anything and you didn't have time to tell him… you know that you loved the pharaoh…_

_Yugi just nodded his head while new tears where starting to form to his eyes at the memory: Yami hadn't said anything. He had just left… Didn't Yugi really mean anything to him, that he had to hurry so badly to the after life without even saying goodbye…? Joey stopped Yugi thought by continuing:_

- _Well the truth is… I think he didn't even want go and leave you, but you know Anzu just started saying something that it was good he would soon be gone and he just brought troubles… and he better leave straight away… and… and so _

- _WAIT! What are you saying Joey? What happened?_

_Yugi hadn't used his voice in three days so his shout was more like a shriek, but at the moment he couldn't care less how he sounded at the moment. He needed to know what happened, what had Anzu said to Yami? Yugi sat up and gripped Joyes collar, ordering him:_

- _Joey tell me what Anzu said! Please I need to know. _

_Joey took a deep breath and took Yugi's hands off his collar and began to explain:_

- _Yami was going to run to you when he saw you had collapsed, but Anzu stopped him. We didn't understand what she was up first we thought she was just sad that the pharaoh was leaving but then she started talking. She said that Yami should just hurry to the after life and leave us alone. Then she pointed at you and said that see those aren't tears of sadness they're tears of joy and relief. Now that you will be gone we all will be safe there won't be any danger attacking us, no seals of Orichalous to take our souls away she pointed out hatred in her voice. The pharaoh was so pale after that and he honestly looked like he was about to start crying any moment. That was something horribly it was like she knew how hit him the hardest and it truly worked I haven't ever seen him so terrified, guilty and sad. Then Anzu just continued saying that now you and her could be truly together and you two wanted nothing more than the pharaoh to die and let you and us leave our own lives. I was going to say something but somehow I just couldn't and then Anzu turned to us to ask our confirmation to everything she just said and of course Kaiba that bastard agreed with her. Then there was just a moment of silence. Yami looked at the floor and then he looked at you and said: "I'm sorry aibou, I truly am." And then he just left without another word. _

_Yugi couldn't believe his ears, this just couldn't be true. How his friends could do this to him, do this to Yami. Yugi couldn't help as the new tears stared their journey down his cheeks and loud sobs that followed. Yugi buried his face on his knees and I cried harder than he had in those three days of constant crying. He cried from anger towards his friend but mostly Anzu and he cried for sadness because of Yami's departure and the new knowledge that Yami thought that he hated him or even worse. Joey tried to comfort Yugi laying a hand on Yugi's shoulder but Yugi showed him away:_

- _I don't want to see you right know. You knew that nothing what Anzu said was true and you said nothing! _

_Joey looked away in shame and then back at his friend feeling so quilty:_

- _I know Yug' and I'm so sorry, but somehow… well you did end up trapped in the seal because of him and then there were all the people who were after the puzzle…_

_Joey's guilty explanation was cut of by Yugi's death glare and cold voice:_

- _I really never thought that any of that was Yami's fault and what happened with the seal of Orichalous Yami made everything right when he freed me and other souls and I have forgiven him. For Ra's sake Joey I LOVE YAMI!_

_Joey started feeling even guiltier he knew all that, why the hell did he have to start making excuses… _

- _I'm really sorry Yug'. I hope you can sometime forgive me for being such an idiot. I'll leave you now. _

_Joey got up and headed to the door but Yugi stopped him:_

- _Joey. I'll forgive you. But now I need some time to think… Anyway thank you for telling me the truth it eases my pain a little knowing that Yami didn't leave so suddenly because he didn't care about me…_

- _I'm glad if it helps and you deserved to know. But it's sad I can't tell that to the pharaoh…_

_Both men got silent at that statement and Yugi couldn't help the tears starting flow even stronger and again he buried his face in his knees and cried his heart out. What he could do? He wanted to tell Yami that all this was just a lie; he loved Yami so much it hurt… Joey wasn't quite sure what he should do but he decided that Yugi wanted to be left alone so he left with a quiet bye. _

_ On his way out Joey said byes to grandpa Mutou._

_Back to this moment_

On his way home Joey tried to think how they could contact to the pharaoh. He deserved to know the truth and at the same time Joey could only wander how much pain they had caused to the pharaoh himself. He had seen Yugi's pain but Yami had always been could on hiding his emotion the only time that mask had cracked was when Yugi had been sealed to the seal of Orichalous the pain, quilt and sorrow had been quite easy to recognise. Joey had then started to wonder just how much Yami really cared for Yugi and after the duel and seeing Yami after Anzu's word had made Joey quite sure that the feelings were mutual. And if that was the case the pharaoh must be feeling as much pain as Yugi, even more now when Yugi knew the truth and Yami didn't … Joey couldn't help but curse himself for his own stupidity.

**Mulla on niin kivinen tie ilman sua**

**Auki haavat sielusta se hiertää**

**Enkä siltä ulos pääse ilman sua**

**Ympyrää se kiertää**

**Kivinen on tieni ilman sua**

**My way is full of obstacles without you**

**It tears my soul apart**

**And I can't get through this without you**

**It's going circles**

**My rocky way without you**

Later that night Yugi lay in his bed staring at a photo of Yami. He really didn't know how he could go on with life without Yami in it. He really didn't feel like living but after hearing Joey earlier it gave him a little hope… Even if this life wouldn't de so good, then perhaps after life would be better. He could tell Yami the truth…and maybe just maybe.

Yugi wasn't going to kill himself but he knew that without his soul's other half he couldn't survive long. Yugi knew that it would be hard for his grandpa and his friends but there was very little he could do.

- I just can feel how the life is leaking out of me…

Yugi whispered to himself. He was sad, he missed Yami, he felt exhausted but now there was a small shine in his eyes again, hope.

**Mulla on niin syvä vesi ilman sua**

**Virrat tummat minua ne ohjaa**

**Liian pahoja on sen pyörteet ilman sua**

**Ei jalat ota pohjaan**

**Syvä on se vesi ilman sua**

**The water is so deep without you**

**Dark flows are taking over me**

**I can't survive without you**

**My legs can't reach the bottom**

**The water is so deep without you**

Before the blessed dream took Yugi in its gentle care there was another thought that brought hope to the little heart broken duelist. If he prayed to the gods, if he hoped, anything then perhaps he could speak to Yami or send a message to him so he could outright the lies Anzu had spread… and tell him he loved him. Then perhaps he could have a little more time knowing Yami was fine and hopefully waiting for him in the afterlife…

Mulla on niin iso ikävä sua

**Sade kylmä sisälleni hakkaa**

**Ja mulla on niin iso ikävä sua**

**Muu olemasta lakkaa**

**Ikävä on mulla ilman sua**

**I miss you so much**

**There's a cold rain inside of me**

**And I miss you so much**

**Everything else stops**

**I miss without you**

And if he couldn't reach Yami from earth he had to pass and make everything right. One thing that pained Yugi more than anything was the thought that Yami believed that Yugi hated him and that Yami would be sad, but hopefully Yami wouldn't be that sad, he was with his family right…? Somehow that thought didn't reassure Yugi that much… "_But just a while ago I thought that Yami hated me…and nothing helped me with that thought…not even grandpa…Nothing could help me if that was true but that's because I love him…but doe Yami even love me…like that…" _Those were Yugi's final thought's until sleep washed over him.

**Eikä mulla ole mitään ilman sua**

**I have nothing without you**

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Thank you for reading and if you have time please review and tell me what you thought and please be honest I want to improve my writnig skills so every feedback is welcomed.

Thank you and I try to update a new chapter as soon as possible!

Love, Roo


	2. Lost wihtout you

Hi! I want to apologise that it has taken me so long to update. I always make the mistake that I start a new story even when I have old unfinished stories also. I hope you can forgvie me and I hope you will enjoy this new chapter this is from Atemu's or Yami's point of view.

* * *

**I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes**

**You might say a little righteous and too proud**

**I just want to find a way to compromise**

**Cause I believe that we can work things out**

**I thought I had all the answers never giving in**

**But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong**

The doors to the afterlife closed behind Yami's back and as he heard them doors slamming shut he whirled around but instead of the doors he only saw darkness behind him. He trembled even if it was too late he still had turned to look behind even though he swore that he wouldn't do that after Anzu had told him that Yugi was relieved that he was leaving…forever. Yami could feel tears burning his eyes as Anzu's words kept ringing painfully in his head. But he knew that he couldn't let his sorrow be seen as he heard a familiar voice behind him:

- Atemu, my son!

The former Yami took a deep breath to collect himself and forced a happy smile on his face as he turned and lunged himself to the arms of the man whom had spoken. Father and a son hugged each other tightly after so many years of separation. Next Atemu hugged his mother and then came the rest of his family and friends. He was happy to see them but the joy still did nothing to ease the pain he felt in his heart. Atemu made sure he didn't look at anyone too long in the eyes so they wouldn't see the sorrow hidden in them and he concentrated more on hugging everyone so that he didn't have to speak. Everybody was excited to see the pharaoh again and he was welcomed joyously and nobody noticed that the king barely said anything to anyone. When Atemu had greeted everyone he felt exhausted and he just wanted to curl into a fetal position and cry. However he couldn't do that. _"They all came here just because of me I can't be selfish and start crying in front of them. They would think that I'm not happy to see them after all this time. I don't want to cause misery to anyone anymore…I never wanted to hurt Yugi but I did exactly that… Aibou…my aibou I'm so sorry. I hope everything will be fine now that I'm gone. For now I won't cause any troubles in his life… he will be free and I will do my best to be a good ruler for my people. I won't let anyone to see my sadness." _

**All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie**

**How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side**

**If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm ****lost without you**

**I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you**

**I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you**

Atemu looked at the small group of his closest family and friends. They were looking at him a little worried waiting for him to say something. Atemu forced a bright smile on his face and said:

- It's good to see you all. I'm happy to be back with you… But I hope you excuse me, all this excitement and the final duel with my aib… I mean with Yugi has taken its toll on me and I would like to rest for a while.

- Of course Atemu lets go home.

Atemu's mother spoke softly and motioned towards the great palace ahead of them. All the other occupants nodded and smiled to their king and together they made their way to the pharaoh's palace. As they entered to the huge lobby there were two servants greeting them. They both bowed to the ground in front of Atemu as they greeted and welcomed their ruler back. The king was too tired to speak so he just nodded to the men and motioned with his hand that they were allowed to get up. Then Atemu's father spoke:

- Please show my son to his chambers and make sure he has everything he needs.

- Thank you father but that won't be necessary. I remember my palace it hasn't changed and for now I only wish to rest in peace.

Atemu spoke softly his voice betraying how tired he felt. The servants and his parents just nodded and he made his way to his bedchambers at the other end of the palace. The palace's walls were decorated with hieroglyphs' which told about the history of the royal family of Egypt. There were quite few furniture on the corridors but all of them were made from the finest dark wood and were covered with blue satin and velvet upholstery. These were all familiar sights to Atemu and he was too hurt and exhausted to look at anything around him. He just wanted to reach his own room and lock the door behind him so he could let his tears fall. He felt a little frustrated as he made his way towarsd his chambers and as he passed room after room and a corridor after corridor there were many servants' men and women who came to salute him and require if he needed or wanted anything. Atemu had to put his emotions aside as he told them politely that he didn't need anything and thanked them for their consideration.

**How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues**

**Baby I'm so lonely all the time**

**Everywhere I go I get so confused**

**You're the only thing that's on my mind**

Finally Atemu reached his own room and as soon as he had gotten inside he closed and locked the door and then he sank on the floor leaning against the closed door. For a while he just stared at his room with blank eyes. It looked exactly same before he was sealed into the puzzle. There was a large canopy bed in the middle of the room and the only other furniture in the room was a small table and a simple chair in front of the balcony window and a closet for his clothes in the farthest corner of the room. On his left was another door which leads to his private bathroom. The main colour in the room was the same crimson colour as his eyes. That short while when Atemu looked at his room he was safe from the emotional burden he was carrying but it didn't take long until the tears he had tried to suppress were freely flowing from his eyes and loud sobs escaped his mouth. Atemu pulled his knees against his chest and lifted his hands on top of his knees so he could bury his head in his hands. He could again hear Anzu's gruel words how Yugi was happy that he would leave now and how Yugi had always hated him… Hated that he had messed his life. Atemu's thoughts were a chaos. _"I can't believe I never noticed how much Yugi hated me… I knew I was causing trouble but I really couldn't help it… It wasn't in my power to make everything to stop… I could only try and protect him… But oh, how many times I betrayed him and his trust… How many times I messed everything and he had to protect me instead… But he always said he forgave me… Was it all just a lie? I really can't believe that Yugi would have lied about everything…? _ _I wish I could take all back, but now he's free of me. He can be happy…happy with…with An…Anzu." _At that thought Atemu's sobs worsened and his whole body started to shake uncontrollably. _"I want him to be happy. Come on Atemu if she makes him happy then…then it is so… Your love was never wanted… Oh, my aibou, my Yugi how much I love you…" _Atemu's thoughts kept going on that same circle as he cried his heart out and as the tears finally eased he was empty and he looked horrible. His eyes were red rimmed and you could clearly see the tear tracks on his cheeks. Wobbling he walked to his bed and collapsed onto it. He gathered his strength for a moment until he rose to sit on his bed so he could remove his golden jewellery and wing grown. He hadn't even realised that his out fit had changed as he stepped into the afterlife. He was now wearing the typical king's out fit. As he managed to remove all the heavy accessories he pushed them to the floor not really caring the noise they made or if they broke either. He lay back down on the bed too weary to take of his white tunic to change into a night gown. After he had laid down sleep claimed him almost immediately. But not even his dreams gave him the peace and rest he would have needed: they were full of nightmares of Yugi telling him how much he hated him and how much he enjoyed life without Yami in it.

**Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day**

**Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say**

**All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie**

**How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side**

**If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm ****lost without you**

**I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you**

**I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you**

As Atemu woke up in the morning with tears in his eyes and the nightmares heavily in his mind he wondered: _"How can people call this a paradise? Even if Yugi hates me my only paradise is where ever he is…"_

**If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away**

**Can't stop the tears from running down my face**

**Oh**

**All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie**

**How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side**

**If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm ****lost without you**

**I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you**

**I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you**

Atemu worked hard to keep his pain hidden from everyone around him and he only cried in the solitude of his own room where nobody could see or hear him. But as days went on his smiles became more and more forced as the pain in his heart only grew. He didn't know what could help. Mana had tried to approach him because in the past she would have been Atemu's wife if he would have lived long enough but Atemu refused as politely as he could. He told her the truth that he was in love with somebody else even though he never told her that he loved Yugi. _"She is nice but I never loved her and even now that I probably will never see Yugi again I will never stop loving him because he is my soul mate. The only one for me." _Mara had understood even thought she was sad that Atemu loved another she still wanted him to happy. However after that she started realising that Atemu didn't seem to be happy. She now noticed the forced smiles and the defeated air that seemed to surround him.

She went to talk about it with the pharaoh's parents and they confirmed that they had noticed the same and they were really worried. The three of them first tried to cheer Atemu but it was soon clear that it wouldn't work so instead they started wondering what was making Atemu so miserable. Mara then remembered Atemu telling about her that he loved someone else but he never mentioned who so Mana told about this to Atemu's parents. It didn't take long for them to come to the conclusion that Atemu had probably fallen in love with someone during his time on earth and was now missing them and Atemu's farther said:

- I think the wisest thing to do now is to try and get him to talk to us. Perhaps if we show that we want to help he might open to us.

- Yes, but we need to approach him and this matter with great care. We have already tried to ask if there is something troubling him but it's clear he doesn't want to talk about it so we musn't press on the matter too much.

Atemu's mother continued. They would try their best to get the king to open up.

At the same time Atemu was in his room standing on his balcony while looking at the bright night sky. Soft tears were leaking from his eyes and to him it seemed that the only thing he could do nowadays was cry even though in the past he had rarely ever cried. The only time he remembered crying was the time when the seal of Orichalous took Yugi's soul but even then his determination to get him back stopped the tears soon. He never cried when he was physically hurt nor when he was scared but now as his heart was broken he couldn't do anything to stop the tears. Still a small wish had arisen in his heart and it made continuing on his daily routines a little bit easier: _"I never had the courage to tell him about my feelings… but now I realise that I should have… even if he dislikes me I want to tell him that I love him… I hope I get a change to do that…" _

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Thank you so much for reading! If you have time I would like to know what you thought about this chapter.

Love, Roo


	3. I need you

I'm really sorry it always takes me so long to update a new chapter but here is the third chapter at last. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: This contains self harming and a tiny bit of violence. (Not for Anzu fans!)

* * *

Yugi was walking slowly towards his school. It was now a little over a month after the ceremonial duel and this was the first day Yugi was going to school after that. Most of the time he had spent in his room crying and praying the gods that he could speak to Yami one last time but so far nothing had happened. Yugi was desperately trying to figure out a way how he could speak with his other half if the gods wouldn't help him with it or if they were even listening to his prayers.

Yugi hadn't intended to go to school at all but his grandfather had pleaded him and in the end the quilt of worrying his grandpa had been too much. Reluctantly Yugi had agreed to return to school. But as Yugi was walking in the streets he started really regretting that he had promised to go to school today. He was exhausted and tired because he had started seeing nightmares few days after the ceremonial duel. Every night it was the same dream: Yugi was walking in a dessert and then he saw a magnificent palace and he knew that it was Yami's home, his palace. So Yugi started running towards it but when he got closer he always stumbled into an invisible wall and he could never get any farther. Yugi had several times tried to break the invisible barrier without succeeding and then came the worse part. Yugi saw Yami coming out into a balcony about ten meters above him and Yugi tried to shout and wave his arms so that he would notice him but he never did. Then Yami stepped over the railing of the balcony and jumped and Yugi was forced to watch as his love fell from the balcony and hit the sand just a few meters away from Yugi. After watching Yami fall and hit the ground Yugi always woke up with tears in his eyes and he couldn't sleep anymore. The horrifying sight kept repeating itself in his mind as tears flowed freely. After each night the dream only became more horrifying because Yugi knew what was going to happen because he couldn't break the invisible wall no matter how hard he tried and he couldn't save Yami. Every night he just had to watch Yami fall. Yugi shivered as he remembered the dream. He could feel the lump in his throat that told him that tears weren't far away. _"I wonder how I can still have tears to cry after I have cried every day for a month." _Sigh. _"I know that tears won't help me but I really can't stop them… I just miss him so much and now that I have to see him dying before me every night_ _it's just too much. But he… he's already death… so he can't die again, right? Right…"_

Yugi was so engrossed with his thoughts that he didn't even realise that he had reached the school gates until Joey's shout woke him up. Yugi looked up and saw Joey, Honda, Ryou and Anzu all waving at him. Yugi stopped dead in his track as he recognized Anzu and seeing all his other friends with her made him angry. He didn't want to see or speak with her ever again. She had done something Yugi knew that he couldn't ever forgive. Anzu had literally ended their friendship when he told Yami that Yugi didn't want to have anything to do with him and with her words made Yami leave without a word. Yugi had thought he could forgive Joey and his other friends that they hadn't said anything to correct Anzu but now that he saw them standing and laughing with Anzu he wasn't so sure he could forgive them anymore. So Yugi turned around and was going to walk straight to his class.

Joey noticed that Yugi was going to walk away so he jogged to Yugi and the rest of the gang followed him. Joey placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him and asked:

- Hi buddy, where're you going?

Slowly Yugi turned to face his…friends. He only looked Joey in the eyes and answered in a monotone voice:

- To class.

- You don't have to go there yet. We could hang out for a while… hm… how have you been?

Honda asked nervously. Ryou, Honda and Joey all realised that something was wrong but only Joey realised what it was and it made him fidget nervously. He didn't want to make Yugi angrier than he had been the last time he had seen him and told him what Anzu had said to Yami. But Joey realised that seeing how they all were still good friends with Anzu the situation was already bad. Yugi stared at his three friends blankly until he finally answered truthfully:

- Not good.

Till now Anzu hadn't said a word. She had just been standing next to them smiling even though she was a little irritated that Yugi hadn't called or spoken with her at all after the duel and when she had gone to see Yugi his grandfather hadn't let her in. _"But I think I can forgive him." _With these thoughts she said:

- We've been worried about you Yugi and to think that when I came to see you your Mister Mutou didn't even let me in. Have you been sick?

Joey gulped loudly when Anzu was finished. He knew that this wouldn't end up nicely.

Yugi froze after hearing Anzu's question. For a moment he just stared at her until the anger flamed up in him and even though he knew it was never right to hit a girl he still took two steps and slapped her with open hand. Anzu shrieked and took several steps away from Yugi as she lifted her hand against her cheek where Yugi had hit her. Yugi stared at her with his eyes full of anger and tears as he shouted:

- You..you filthy liar! You really thought I would want to see you after what you did?! After you told Yami that I hated him and with that took away the person I love the most from me! I don't want to have anything to do with you Anzu, ever again!

And with that Yugi ran leaving his friends standing there shocked. Yugi ran straight back to the game shop and to his room. He didn't stop when he entered into the shop and heard his grandpa asking him worriedly why he was home and did something happen. Yugi just ran past him to upstairs and only shout that he was sorry and that he hadn't been able to go to a school. Yugi's grandfather had stood there shocked until the familiar sorrow reached him as he heard Yugi's door being slammed shut and the agonizing sobs that soon after reached his ears. He sighed hopelessly, he had hoped that going to school could have taken Yugi's mind of Yami and his misery but it was clear he had been wrong. Mister Mutou felt so useless when he listened to the heartbroken sobs coming above him. He wanted to comfort Yugi but he knew that if he went to see his grandson now it wouldn't help at all for now Yugi again needed to be alone.

Solomon was very worried because he had heard when Yugi talked to himself and those words made him scared. He had heard how Yugi spoke that he wouldn't live that much longer without Yami here and even though Solomon didn't want to believe it he knew it was true. Yugi's eyes were so dull and Solomon could see that all the happiness and hope were almost vanished from there. When Joey had come to see Yugi Solomon had seen a small hope sparkle in them and prayed that that hope would help Yugi. Yugi had later told him the same what Joey had told him and what he heard made the old man angry. He couldn't believe that Yugi's friends had done something so horrible especially Anzu who had been Yugi's friend for the longest time. When Solomon first became aware of Yami's existence he noticed straight away how the two boys felt for each other. To him it had been as clear as a day and he was quite certain that even Yugi's friends could see that Yugi loved Yami and that Yami felt the same. He had in secret laughed and wondered how long it would take them to admit it to the other. Now there was nothing to laugh about. He knew that he had a one heartbroken boy in his home and there was another one in afterlife. Solomon had heard how Yugi prayed the gods that he could speak to Yami one last time and that had made him pray for that too. So that both boys could tell each other about their feelings but nothing seemed to work. Solomon was afraid that if nothing would soon happen he would loose his only grandson.

**In the afterlife**

Yami got up from the sand and shook his clothes but he could still feel sand against his skin and he new that he would have to bathe if he wanted to get rid of it. Sighing Yami raised his head and looked at the balcony above him raising his hand to shield his eyes from the bright sunshine. _"I just fell ten meters down from there and there isn't a scratch on me…It didn't even hurt, like it didn't any other time I tried it. Well I'm in afterlife so I should know that I can't die again. Here nothing can hurt me, no matter how many times I try to jump off from balconies or cut myself with knives. My wounds always heal right away and I don't feel a thing" _Sigh. _"I'm an idiot why am I even doing this… Even if I could hurt myself I'm sure it wouldn't take away the pain in my heart…Yugi…and even if I could die again it wouldn't take me anymore nearer to Yugi… And he doesn't even want to see me anymore… But when I jump I could swear that I hear Yugi's voice…that's why I do it… I hear him calling my name… It's quite addicting… It reminds me of that one movie we watched together. There was that girl who was in love with a vampire and when the vampire left, she did all those crazy and dangerous things and every time she did those she could see him and hear him… I must be insane…" _Yami laughed at his thoughts without really finding them amusing and his laugh was forced. He shook his head as he started walking towards the entrance of the palace he knew the guards would again be shocked when he appeared in front of them when they hadn't even see him leaving the palace.

What Atemu didn't notice was his parents standing on another the palaces many balconies watching him. His mother had tears in her eyes. They knew now that Atemu jumped from the balcony every day. They had once seen it accidentally and after that they had known about their sons new "hobby". At first they had tried to make him stop but it but it soon became obvious that he wouldn't. Atemu just tried to lie that it was an accident and for a few days he hadn't jumped to assure his parents but then they again saw him when he jumped when Atemu thought no one would see. But this time they didn't interfere because they knew it wouldn't help and Atemu only thought that he hadn't been caught. Atemu's parents knew that he couldn't hurt himself but it was still horrifying to watch their son falling from so high knowing that if they still lived on earth it would have killed him.

- Oh, my darling… What is wrong with him? What is it that makes him so miserable? I hate to see him like this but he doesn't let us help. He doesn't talk to us when we ask, he's just stays silent… And his eyes, oh I hate it how he just stands before us and his eyes are so dull like there's nothing good left for him… and the forced smiles…

The queen couldn't go on anymore as she started sobbing. Atemu's father pulled her close to him trying to comfort her as best as he could but he too was worried for his son. Neither knew what was wrong with Atemu and when they tried asking and talking to him he always waved them of saying it was nothing. They could see that Atemu was trying to act as if everything was perfect and for most people it worked but parents knew their child best. They knew that Atemu hadn't gave any real smiles after he had arrived and they could see that every day it was more and more difficult for him to keep his mask of being well on. At first only Atemu's parents and Mana had noticed Atemu's sorrow but slowly as the time went on other people too started noticing that something wasn't quite right with their pharaoh.

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Thank you for reading and I would love to hear you thoughts!

Love, Roo


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